Webmart boss Simon Biltcliffe, for it is he, has decided to attempt the Marathon des Sables – aka the world’s toughest footrace – next month. 

This involves running (running? In that heat?? With those feet??? The mind boggles) some 156 miles over eight days in a manner that is described as “self-supported”, which means Bilty has to carry his food, sleeping and cooking kit on his back. We reckon that could involve an awful lot of sand in his sarnies. 

“I will upload a story about it when I get back and try to remove all the sweary words that will have been uttered during the actual event,” he says. We will believe that when we see it. 

This frankly ridiculous sounding escapade is in aid of Yorkshire Cancer Research, with Biltcliffe hoping to raise £6,000 for the charity. Donate here: www.justgiving.com/bilty.